The Primary 1 Parent

November 24, 2014, 10:52 pm

Year-ends are usually emotional for me. As well as birthdays. And weddings. And soppy movies. And just about anything actually. But year-ends mostly. Well, and birthdays. And.. Ok, stop, collaborate and listen!

Yes as I was saying. If it's not enough that the last month of the year is approaching, it's also the final month of my 6-year old's pre formal education days, as well as my 2.5 year old's pre school days. So you can see how this is an extra special month for my delicate heart.

In recent weeks I've been giving a lot of thought as to what kind of parent I want to be, particularly on the kind of parent I want to be to a Primary 1 child.

Prior to Primary 1, I suppose it's ok to kind of just drift along and go wherever the wind blows, and reactive parenting can still get one through, just like it did for me. But when formal education is involved, I see it as a time for me to decide what I really want to appear as to my daughters, and if I can live by my decision and bear the responsibility of that outcome.

I'm glad that Max and I both feel that we want our kids to enjoy their childhood; to have swimming lessons for example, because it's a fun thing for them, and that it's a good skill to have, not because we want them to train for the Olympics or simply to have some badge or certificate under their belt. In all that we do for our kids, we want it to be ruled by fun and interest; we want to give them opportunities to learn on their own.

We want to impress upon our children that academic results may be important, but there is so much more to life than school and assessments. Not that we want to teach our kids to be rebellious and disobey teachers because "my mummy says school isn't everything!", but more to instill the importance of an all-rounded life.

Why it is particularly pressing at this point in time for us to make a stand, is because we know that our choices, and our way of life, are not aligned with the choices of many, which would make us part of a very small minority.

Not that being part of a minority is anything bad. Just that there would be implications, and certain things that we might have to learn to live with.

In all honesty, I was all for the "I'm not going to help my kids in any way! Let them figure everything out on their own! It's their future and they should be fully responsible for it!" camp.

All throughout K2, I had a chance to try that out. And as much as I tried, my friends, it just wasn't possible. Because Poppy was given the task of a weekly journal to work on each weekend. I would have loved to leave her to sort it all out on her own but you know what? She couldn't spell. And couldn't find the right Chinese words to use. I figured the school's objective was simply to get the kids introduced to the idea of homework, and that's how poor ole Mama got roped into a half hour session a week of helping the 6-year old.

I could have saved myself a bunch of white hair if I had simply spelt everything out for her but I guided her with her spelling instead. Which, as parents will tell you, is possibly the biggest test of patience yet. We came to a point when Poppy would recognize the signs of an impending explosion from Mount Mama, and she would hug me. It was tough but hugs always helped buy us an additional block of patience. And somehow we got through the year of journals with lots of prayer, hugs and coffee.

Why did I do it? I'm not sure. Because I didn't want her to go to school with an empty book and face ridicule? Because I feel that 6 is a bit too young for homework? Because I'm her parent and have the in-built system to help whenever I can?

With everything, there are always multiple schools of thought - throw them in the deep end, walk away and let them learn to swim on their own? Yes, there's the chance they will learn quickly because their survival instinct will kick in. But there is also the risk that they will drown. Give them swimming lessons and start them off in the baby pool step by step? Maybe, though many would see that as overbabying them.

I suppose that we pretty much have a mid point approach to things, to perhaps let the kids learn to swim and when they are ready, step back and let them. Equip them with the basic necessary skills to survive, and then let them manage on their own while remaining within close range. Is this the perfect solution? Maybe not, but it's what we are comfortable with, because we known ourselves and we know our kids.

So what kind of Primary 1 parent am I going to be? God only knows. Though I will try very hard to keep play on par with school. Because the kids? They are only young once. And I want them to have find childhood memories to think back upon and not just remember what their school books looked like.

And the sacrifice we have to make in order for this to happen? Our kids are probably going to be pretty "average" performers in school. Academically. We'll have to bear that in mind when we see their report cards. But you know what? I think what I will look at is not so much the grades, but the comments made by their teachers. If they mention anything at all about how Poppy shows compassion and empathy toward her classmates, or that Calla is always the one to raise her hand to answer questions, even if they aren't always right, I think I'd be happy. After all, grades aren't the only way to define a person. So says Miss 196-points at PSLE herself.

↧

It's only been Twenty Years

December 2, 2014, 8:36 am

≫ Next: Mama has Horizonto

≪ Previous: The Primary 1 Parent

A few weeks ago, I heard the news that my beloved former school was going to face the wrecking ball. Well, it is Singapore and I should have known that this was going to happen sooner or later. It's going to make way for a bigger building to be constructed in its place, so that more girls can don the blue IJ uniform and sing Forward Katong Convent and maybe some day many more babies will be rocked to sleep to that tune. So it's for a good reason, I suppose, but it didn't stop me from feeling all emotional about it.

With every cloud though, there is a silver lining. Amidst the gloom of demolition, I suddenly hooked up with old friends and schoolmates whom I'd not seen in 20 years. It finally gave me the push to go to the school again for one last look, something I'd been wanting to do for years. Among us - strangers, yet sisters, united by our motto and memories - we also rallied together to help our school bookshop owners (or otherwise known as "Auntie Bookshop") sell off all their stock to send them off on their happy retirement. So, lots of good came out of this.

My first class photo in the blue uniform - I'm right in the middle, in front. Teacher decided at the last minute that she didn't want to sit and picked me randomly. Not that I was the teacher's pet or anything. Love how our feet were hovering off the floor!

Last class photo. I'm seated, second from left.

It's hardly a secret that I remember the weirdest and most random things. So it probably won't surprise you that I can remember most of my Primary 1 classmates. And we're talking a l-o-n-g time ago. But there are things that I'd forgotten, and those good ole school magazines were around to save the day.

I can't remember how much they cost but for as far back as I can remember, it was compulsory for every student to buy a copy. I have all but one, the year I was in Primary 1 - My mother said "Well there's no need to buy it since you're not in it anyway." True, true.

Sure, we complained back then because they weren't cheap, but I'm glad to have them now. Oh, the excitement when we received ours every year! We'd excitedly flip to see if we were featured anywhere else apart from the class photo, we'd scan through the creative pages to see if our essays or poems were picked (mine never were), we'd laugh at the unfortunate ones who were caught in less than flattering poses and angles.

These guys followed me with every house move and some of them are practically falling apart.

I think I labelled everything back then.

I'm not sure how it's like now but back then, the graduating classes had their pictures in the year book in colour; everyone else was in black and white.

Remember autograph books? I had one of those but I'd forgotten that I got my friends to write little messages in one of the year books. Yes, I'm from the "Stay cool and funky always" era.

There's hoarding, and there's archiving memories because they light up the corners of your mind. I'm glad I saved these memories. Memories are unerasable, but having them in print just makes them so much better.

Do you have your school magazines too? I hope you have fun reminiscing like I did. Plus, it's also fun to laugh about our old hairstyles and fashion sense eh? :)

Up next is Justina from Mum in the Making (who won this year's Best Family Blog, yo!). Justina is a stay home mum to three little boys. She is a compulsive hoarder of all things recyclable and has a secret stash of toilet rolls. Hop over to her blog tomorrow to see what she's held on to for the past two decades!

******

http://greenissuessingapore.blogspot.sg/2014/12/i-didnt-throw-it-away.html

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Agatha from Green Issues by Agy on "I Didn't Throw It Away". We have become such a throw-away society, but there are some things in our households that we still keep. Why is that so? Perhaps this blog train can unlock the reasons behind it! Follow the daily posts on this blog train and read about the stories behind the things we have kept for many years and why we didn't throw them away.

↧

Mama has Horizonto

December 10, 2014, 6:38 pm

≫ Next: Now they are small, and Christmas trees are tall

≪ Previous: It's only been Twenty Years

Horizonto. I've been struck by a case of Horizonto.

Technically it's called Vertigo, when one experiences dizzyness that comes with a misperception of motion, coupled by nausea and vomiting. At one point while hugging the toilet I have a brief flashback to the days of morning sickness. Oh joy.

It came out of nowhere. From a loss of voice one day after work, to a sudden headache to extreme tiredness and finally a fever. The only thing that was constant throughout was my need to remain horizontal. Thus, Horizonto.

Yesterday was tricky. Poppy cried when I told her she couldn't go for a play date at her friend's house because I couldn't even get out of bed. Which meant I could even stand straight. Except to half walk, half crawl to the toilet to throw up.

In the end I gave in and somehow managed to get everyone dressed and out of the house and stumble into a taxi without puking. Thankfully Poppy's friend's dad gave Calla and I a ride home or I'm pretty sure I would have fainted by the roadside.

Unsympathetic though my girls are to my situation ("Mama you're not sick!""Mama you're not cold! Come play!"), they were kind enough to allow me to be horizontal for most parts. In exchange I had to let them jump around me on the bed and bear loud songs from their music player (because why have a music player when it can't play at volume 10, right?) while I drifted in and out of light sleep. And the construction from the neighbours nearby? It sure helped. Not.

I flitted through sleep and strange dreams as one usually does when a fever strikes. Through burning eyes I looked at them when forced. When I couldn't ignore them further I had to nod or smile through the invisible force squeezing my temples together.

I'm thankful that they did not get up to much mischief, and that the moment my husband could take over, he did. But above all, I'm so thankful that this struck now when the kids are older and can occupy themselves, as opposed to when they were babies and were more reliant on me. Come to think of it, this is probably my first big illness since the kids were born. I suppose it's my body's way of saying "Right, I've waited long enough".

The week isn't turning out to what I had intended it to be. We were supposed to go out and play with water balloons, suss out fake snow, buy new shoes, expel energy. But instead I'm stuck home and playing catch up with the Advent Calendar (this morning I woke up to Poppy's face in mine "Mama, do you think you could fill yesterday's pocket of the Advent Calendar later please?".

In any case, I'm on the road to recovery though the prospect of loud noises and bright sunlight doesn't appeal to me for now. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my cave.

↧

Now they are small, and Christmas trees are tall

December 18, 2014, 6:56 am

≫ Next: Yes and No

≪ Previous: Mama has Horizonto

The end of each year always brings about a sentimental cloud. Not that I ever need a reason to be sentimental, but the end of the year marks a closing of sorts, doesn't it? When we take stock of all that we're grateful for, and all that we've done. When we say a prayer of thanks for the people that we love, and beat ourselves up with guilt over the things we could have done better.

With me starting work this year, my routine with the girls went out the window and amidst the flurry of work and all related to it, along came December. And now that I can exhale and look, I mean really look, at my children instead of glancing at them, I can't help but notice how much they have grown.

It's inevitable that they will grow, of course. I mean, I do feed them well. But it's shocking at how fast they're growing. They are noisy and rowdy and cheeky and quite a handful, but I simply cannot imagine my life any different. And these are the things I never ever want to forget about their childhood:

Candles
Real candles, fake candles, pictures of candles, drawings of candles. The small girl sees them and she has to sing Happy Birthday to them and attempt to extinguish them.

The year of the curl
This year was also the year that this girl's hair grew out. At the start of the year, she was still pretty much a baldie. And now, it's lovely locks galore. This is such a beautiful age, when the wind blows their hair in their face, and they are still mastering their fine motor skills so they brush the hair away clumsily with the palm of their hand. I love it. I love her.

Ice-cream treats
How I love living in a neighbourhood where we can dress up (you know, just because) for an afternoon treat. Afternoon treats are essential to our relationship. Sometimes we can have a crappy day and everyone's on everyone's nerves, but ice-cream always saves the day. I am convinced that ice-cream was created for Mamas with young children.

And older sisters asking for matching hairstyles with their baby sisters? Oh be still, my fragile heart.

Teeth
This year, the Tooth Fairy was kept busy. She probably had to take a loan to finance Poppy's teeth. It's funny that teeth take months to grow but we're so busy with our daily lives that before we know it, a new tooth has grown to take the place of the old one. I never want to forget this gorgeous smile.

Being carried
She's running around like the wind at home, but once we're out, she lifts her arms to me and says in her sweetest voice, "Please carry me. I cannot walk more. Mine legs are hurting". Never mind that mine arms are aching.

Or "We are too close to the road; it's too dangerous. Please carry me.". It's a strange ailment that only attacks when we're out and dissipates once we're home. I usually give her a target to reach, like the bus stop, or the recycling bin, and then tell her I will pick her up after that, but hope that she forgets. She never does. And when I finally pick her up? Oh that sweet feeling when she nestles her head in my neck, and her soft curls tickle my nose. And when she says "I'm just a small baby, Mama". It's hard to not love this baby.

Simplicity
Sometimes I plan all kinds of outing for the girls but I forget that sometimes all they want is to simply be at the neighbourhood playground. This year marked a turning point for us - we're now able to enjoy quiet moments at home when both kids are entertained with books on the sofa, or lying on their tummies on the floor and drawing. Sometimes it's fun to go out and explore, but sometimes, it's wonderful to just stay home and appreciate each other.

Conversations
This year, we started having two-way conversations with this girl, and they're getting funnier too. "Calla, come give me a hug". "No! I will not say yes!". And those moments when I overhear conversations between the two sisters? Simply priceless.

Yup, all in all, it's been a good year. I hope that you've had many beautiful memories of 2014 too, and wish you many more for the coming year! Happy holidays, everyone!

Poppy and Calla are wearing Pumpkin Patch's Fall range of clothing. Thanks, Pumpkin Patch, for the girls' lovely dresses!

↧

Yes and No

January 2, 2015, 8:04 am

≫ Next: Has "Sorry" Lost its Meaning?

≪ Previous: Now they are small, and Christmas trees are tall

Somehow, something clicked in me when the clock struck 12 on New Year's Eve. And no it wasn't my bad knee.

It was the realization that - are you ready for it - I'd been spending too much time on my phone. So I'm going to - are you ready for it - consciously cut down on phone dates.

I was so close to doing it some time back but then my phone broke down and #thelovinghusband bought me a new one. A rather awesome one at that. And foiled all my plans.

Today, I did something drastic. Today I deleted Facebook from my phone. Because it was just not healthy for me. Because I want to talk to my kids and play with them and read to them.

Because I want to be more patient with them when they are disobeying and not walk away when they are upset and convince myself that by aimlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed, I am using the time to calm myself down.

So this year, it will be yes to being more of a mum. It will be yes to smiling more. It will be yes to looking at them. It will be yes to talking to them and tickling them and kissing them and hugging them. And yes to saying "I love you" and truly meaning it instead of just saying it.

Because this year both kids are in school and somehow school makes them grow so much faster. Is it the water? The air? The food? I don't know.

All I know is that the time is now. If I lose it, it is never coming back. And I don't want to lose it.

So this year, it will be no. No to checking my phone so regularly. No to whipping out my phone to check the time (I'll wear a watch). No to taking photos of everything - I'll remember these moments instead trough my own eyes. No to posting pics of every occasion - I want to enjoy them instead.

Today was the first day of school. A monumental day for us all. And I took but a handful of photos. Because I needed both my hands to make finger hearts for my 6-year old. And her smile when she spotted me among the crowd, holding up a heart? That moment when her searching eyes turned into a big wide grin? It was worth any amount of photos.

Happy yes and no 2015 to you all.

Ps do you also fall into the "oh well I'll just scroll a little on Facebook before bed and then BAM! It's 1am" trap? Because everyone lives such exciting lives and I want to know more more more! I've taken the plunge and have deleted Facebook from my phone. And it feels... Refreshing. Hello social media detox programme!

↧

Has "Sorry" Lost its Meaning?

January 7, 2015, 7:35 pm

≫ Next: Confessions of a Primary 1 Parent

≪ Previous: Yes and No

Some of you have been sharing about this on FB (originally from CuppaCocoa.com). It hit a soft spot for me - we live in a house with a 6 year old and a 2.5 year old, and both are well, shall we say they are still learning to share.

There's a lot of snatching and hitting and "Mama she took my --" and "Go away"s. Usually they both get sent to the time-out corner till they can apologise to and hug each other. The hug is compulsory because to me it shows that the apology has been accepted and that the girls start afresh.

The good thing is that they now both know that there's no way to get out of their time-out until they do what's required. And they almost always leave it running and with a smile on their face, friends again.

We are a huggy sort of family and I fear a time when the hug is simply a thing to do to get out of the naughty corner. I love this approach to saying sorry; I hope the kids will catch on as well!

What about you? Are you having trouble keeping the meaning of "sorry" in your home?

↧

Confessions of a Primary 1 Parent

January 16, 2015, 7:39 am

≫ Next: Creating Your Own Wall Art

≪ Previous: Has "Sorry" Lost its Meaning?

This year, my Big Girl started formal education. Kindy was fine and fun, and yes I shed some tears when she started kindy too, but something about Primary School makes it, I don't know, more real somehow.

In kindy, the kids were probably in a small physical environment. Primary Schools are bigger. Much bigger.

In kindy, we didn't have to worry about our kids buying their own food, and finishing it up within the short recess period.

In kindy, there was hardly any homework. There were no such things as tests. Or exams. Or having to bring your own stationery to school.

At the Primary School level, these things all become real. And I have to confess, I'm as nervous as she is.

Simply because it's a daunting experience. Remember your first day at work? When everything was new to you. New systems, new people, new environment, new procedures. Now imagine that, and being 6 years old and the smallest in a big big place.

I have to confess that while many other parents are worried about their kids' academic performance in school, my primary concern is my daughter's ability to survive the school in general.

Not the school school per say, because it is a beautiful school and we love it and think it fits her, and her it, wonderfully. But rather, the things that come with it.

The teachers, for example. Will she have teachers who love their jobs and want to help 6 year olds to learn? Or her classmates. Will she fit in and make friends or will she be bullied?

Will she be able to make good food choices, or end up spending all her money at the bookshop? Will she get overwhelmed by the sudden surge of school rules? Will she get lost in that huge compound?

Like many other parents, I feel my heart ache (and my head too, from the lack of sleep) seeing my little one get up before the sun. But I have to understand that school starts at 7.30am because work starts at 8.30am or 9am. I would love to have school start a bit later, but I understand and accept it. We'll just adjust and be thankful that we are able to have early bedtimes.

I think the most stressful part for me is that I have to make these decisions right from the start, and stick by them throughout both my kids' years of education. That's 10 years per kid. And I have two.

What kind of decisions? Like if I want to be a homework parent for example. Do I want to sit down with them while they do their homework?

I dug deep into my own memory bank and remembered what my own parents did - I was left to do my work on my own, but they made it very clear that I could check with them if I ever had any problems. I remember calling my mother at her office when I was about 7 or 8, asking how to spell "vegetables".

So I'm nearby when she's at the dining table with her worksheets, and she knows she can call out to me if she needs help. And by help, I mean real help. So not "Mama can you cut these for me?" More like the "how to spell vegetables" kind.

And even then, I won't give her the spelling. Rather, I'll guide her through. Which, I believe, is more tiring at the start, but more effective in the long run.

Do I want to pack her bag for her? Nope. But for the first month, we'll look at her time table together while she packs her bag on her own. So far I've not touched her school bag. Because I want her to learn responsibility. If she forgets to pack something in, and gets reprimanded in class for it, she'll be more careful the next time. If I keep doing it for her, she will never learn. And I will never get a chance to rest.

Perhaps it is this same reason that I won't join the class parent chat group. Because I want my child to learn to listen to instructions in class, and carry them out when home, and to suffer the consequences of not doing so.

The last thing I want is for her to drift through her school days simply because she knows that at the end of the day, if she forgets anything, Mama can just type a message in the chat group and voila, the answer will unfold.

It's hard to justify to others who feel it's wrong to adopt such a hands-free, "bochup" attitude. It's not that I don't care. On the contrary, it's because I care about molding my kids, and giving them the opportunity to learn on their own, that I have taken a step back.

Because I firmly believe that education does not end when one receives her PSLE result slip. Or university degree. It's the world that I'm preparing my kids for, and that's the kind of education I'm giving them.

But nothing is cast in stone. We can and will make changes along the way. She may be the one in Primary 1, but I'm learning too.

↧

Creating Your Own Wall Art

January 20, 2015, 7:01 am

≫ Next: Bring Back That Lovin' Feeling

≪ Previous: Confessions of a Primary 1 Parent

We recently had our living room painted. Which spurred us into first cleaning up, and then motivated us to finally make some changes that we'd been intending to and procrastinated upon.

One of the things I'd always wanted was to have art of some form on the walls. We love the kids' drawings but decided to limit them to only certain parts of the home because well, as much as we love them, we sometimes need a break from their um, creativity. And noise.

The thing about us is that we're not the typical couple that would spend lots of money on a piece of art. We're not the oil painting sort, the landscape sort, nor the abstract sort. In all honesty, I don't know what sort we are! So I decided to create our own one-of-a-kind wall art :)

I love how it turned out. I chose the fabric to match our new-old armchair (it's a preloved vintage piece that I recently bought) and I couldn't be happier with the final outcome. And the best part was that the whole thing didn't cost us an arm and a leg, plus it was made within 15 minutes! The only thing that put me off this was the fact that I thought I needed a fancy schmancy stapler gun. I tried UHU glue instead and it totally worked!

Materials you'll need:
Plain stretched canvas (I initially wanted one big one but Spotlight was having a pack of 2 smaller ones on sale!)
Fabric (slightly bigger than stretched canvas) - I also got mine from Spotlight.
UHU glue

Step 1: Measure fabric. Leave about a 1-inch border around your stretched canvas

Step 2: Cut fabric. I simply folded a line and cut along it. Doesn't matter if it's not totally straight because it's going to be on the back of your art piece anyway. Iron your fabric. You must do this or the creases will be very obvious

Step 3: Lay your fabric with the right side facing down on the table, then the front of your stretched canvas on top of it (i.e. the wrong side of the fabric should be in contact with the front of your stretched canvas). Apply UHU glue to one side of the back of your stretched canvas, then fold side of fabric over. Press down to make sure it's secure and allow to dry. UHU glue dries up fast so 2-3 minutes is really enough.

Step 4: Repeat with opposite side. This allows you to stretch the fabric well to avoid air pockets. Stretch it as much as you can, then glue the side down.

Step 5: Repeat the gluing process, folding corners in as neatly as you can, kind of like you're wrapping a present. I added some glue at the folds for good measure.

Step 6: Press down all sides firmly, then flip stretched canvas over (so that the front is facing up) and press the sides down again to ensure everything is stuck on well.

Step 7: Done! Hang up and admire!

The best thing about this is that it's relatively cheap and so easy to do, so you can change your fabrics whenever you tire of the prints! So there you have it. No more excuses for blank walls! ;)

This post is part of a series run by the very creative A Happy Mum. Check out her blog for more fun and creative ideas that she enjoys with her two little princesses.

↧

Bring Back That Lovin' Feeling

January 25, 2015, 6:01 am

≫ Next: A Bright Idea for a Good Cause

≪ Previous: Creating Your Own Wall Art

Before I had kids, I didn't know exactly what kind of mum I wanted to be. Slowly, as the kids grew, and so did I, I dug deeper and deeper into my own memory banks, and asked myself what my own parents would have done in each situation.

There were things that I agreed with ("You're in charge of your own homework, dude!") and things that I didn't (let's just say I am stricter than they are!), but one thing stood out: I wanted to be a fun parent, just like they were when I was a kid, and how they are fun grandparents now.

I wanted to bring them for picnics, for treasure hunts, on long walks, play at beaches, explore different playgrounds, teach them to skip pebbles on the water... all these fun things, which to be honest, are really challenging at times without a car.

But being a fun mum - it's something I strive very hard to do. Every single day I ask myself if there's somewhere we could go to explore. We don't always make it out of the house but the thought still comes to me every single day. And then work came along for me, and school for them, and slowly, ever so slowly, these fun times just somehow got snatched away from us.

Everywhere we went, we spent more time getting ready, and more time in transit than actually being at the venue. And when we're there, I'm looking at my watch half the time, worrying about being home in time for bed. In other words, I became the opposite of the fun mum I had set out to be.

But today, Small Girl and I had a morning out, just the two of us, and I rediscovered how much I enjoyed spending time out with her without any agenda. We went to the museum because she asked to, we took the train there and the bus back because she asked to, we moved at her pace, we shared a slice of green cake because she wanted to. We even played with vending machines, something which I almost always pull the kids away from, simply because we 'don't have the time to stop for this'.

Many a time, I'm guilty about not spending enough time with the firstborn, because she's the one who's had me 'taken away' from her. Small Girl doesn't know any other life but this, to have a sister to share her mother with. But Big Girl remembers a time when it was just me and her. And so I often try to make it up to her by going on special dates with her. I love these dates, I do, but I'm beginning to panic because there will come a time when I'll feel guilty about not spending enough time with the little one as well.

Oh, Motherhood!

It's hard to explain - we go out often, the three of us, but it's hard to really enjoy something in depth when one's attention is split. When we're out together, I'm always chasing after one or the other.

But the kids are growing, and I'm also learning along the way, so hopefully, one day soon, we will be able to go out and enjoy each others' company in a less hurried fashion. But in the mean time, Fun Mum is back in action! Well, her spirit is willing, at least.

↧

A Bright Idea for a Good Cause

January 27, 2015, 6:27 am

≫ Next: Home Sweet Home

≪ Previous: Bring Back That Lovin' Feeling

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by IKEA, who asked me to talk about a very special project. Of course I said yes. Because 1. It's IKEA and 2. It's a really special project. Glad we cleared that up.

In our home, we try our best to cut down on electrical usage, primarily because of cost. But I will admit that I cannot resist turning the light on in the living room just because .... it's so pretty. In the process of our recent living room makeover, we made better decisions concerning lighting and have been enjoying our new lights so much.

We have this uplighter and it does wonders to the living room. Basks it in a warm glow somehow. When I look at my living room like this, I feel like a real grown-up, like my own childhood dream of 'playing house' has come true, to have a home that I love.

I love my home and my husband and I are on a perpetual home improvement phase; we're always making small changes here and there. I cannot bear the thought of losing my home. Which is why when IKEA approached me to share about the "Brighter Lives for Refugees" project, which helps people who have lost their homes, I knew this was something I couldn't say 'no' to.

At this juncture, I have to point out that my opinions about IKEA are possibly biased - I played in the ball pit at IKEA Katong when I was 6 years old, I was a big fan of IKEA in my teens, I worked at IKEA in my 20s, and since then, my respect for the company that has taken upon itself to create a better everyday life for everyone, has grown. So yes, I believe in its values, and yes, I believe in the good it is doing. But no, it is not without reason. This is a company that honestly wants to help, and does everything it can to. You can read about IKEA's other efforts to help communities around the world here, and how sustainability is part of everything it does here.

IKEA has been partnering with the United Nations Refugee Agency (UNHCR) to bring light to otherwise lightless UNHCR refugee camps around the world including Ethiopia, Chad, Bangladesh and Jordan. Through this campaign, solar street lights, indoor solar lanterns and other renewable energy technologies have been provided to families in these camps.

In Singapore, the sun sets at about 7pm, and day breaks at about 7am. I cannot imagine going through 12 whole hours in complete darkness, yet it is a norm to millions of people around the world. There are about 10.5 million refugees globally, half of which are children. To them, even a simple activity like going to the toilet, reading, or returning home at night - everyday things that we take for granted - can be a dangerous task. Having light will play a big part in making their lives safer.

We may be far away, but we can help too. For every LED light bulb sold during 1 Feb - 28 Mar 2015, IKEA donates €1 to help the UNHCR by funding its projects that help refugees in refugee camps across Asia, Africa and the Middle East. You can read more about the IKEA Brighter Lives for Refugees campaign here.

While it isn't possible to simulate the exact conditions of a refugee camp, IKEA has requested that I try out a night without electrical light sources, just to have a feel of it. The tricky part was to involve the kids as well because well, they're a part of our lives and all. There were the usual things to do like get them cleaned up after dinner and ready for bed, with stories and all that.

Just to get everyone on the same page, this is what it's like in the bathroom with no lights on, "without kids" versus "with kids".

And, just so you know, light switches are every kid's best friend. On and off, on and off, on and off... Our house is on a perpetual disco-light mode. So we had to remind them that light switches were off limits. More than usual. And then we armed them with these wind-up LED torches - no batteries!

As for the adults, we prepared ourselves for a different kind of night. I know what you're thinking. You're looking at today's date to see if you should congratulate us 40 weeks from today. I'm sorry to disappoint you but we simply went about our usual routines which included watching a movie in bed.

I'm one of those weird ones who get a headache from overpowering scents, particularly from air fresheners and candles. But I figured one scented candle in the bathroom couldn't hurt. Thankfully I was right.

Because kids are, you know, kids, they were really excited to see candles all over. We were careful to place them in high spots so that the kids were not able to reach them, but still, they couldn't resist blowing out a candle or two. After singing Happy Birthday of course. They had fun flashing their torches on the ceiling, and playing with their light sticks, but reading books proved to be quite a challenge.

When bedtime approached, they were accompanied by our old battery operated Christmas lights that I put in a plastic corner. No candles in their room for two reasons: 1. air conditioning and 2. it's fire, and they are kids - active, curious, I-want-to-touch-everything kids.

In the living room, however, when I knew they were sound asleep, I laid the candles on the coffee table, something I'd not done since they arrived. The kids, not the candles.

How difficult was the challenge? Well, we had to consciously remind ourselves about the switches. Usually we walk into a room and the first thing we do is flick the light switch on. It's second nature. So we had to be mindful of our actions. Truth be told, it was challenging but not entirely impossible. We still had the street lights outside that provided sufficient light that prevented us from bumping into tables. Washing dishes in relative darkness wasn't easy. But nothing a couple of torches couldn't fix.

It may have been a fun night for us, but the harsh fact still remains, that millions around the need light, and through IKEA, we can help make that happen. The next time you're shopping for lights at IKEA, look for LED light bulbs; for every LED light bulb that you buy, you can help someone have a brighter life.

And soon, IKEA will only sell LED lights - they last longer (up to 20 years!), consume up to 85% less energy compared to traditional lightbulb (thus saving us money on electrical bills!), they contain no mercury, light up immediately and can be recycled.

More good news? Yes please! Bring your used halogen or incandescent lightbulbs to IKEA Alexandra and IKEA Tampines from 6 to 8 Feb 2015 and receive free LED light bulbs. It's a 1-for-1 exchange, up to 3 lightbulbs per person, and limited to the first 1,000 bulbs per day. Now that is a bright idea!

↧

Home Sweet Home

January 30, 2015, 5:19 am

≫ Next: Wet Market Tips from the New Age Auntie

≪ Previous: A Bright Idea for a Good Cause

Friends! I stand before you today as the self proclaimed IKEA champion! 6 trips in 10 days, y'all! And some of these trips with two kids as well! But all those trips (plus those to other stores, and the endless hours of research online and discussions with the significant other) have all been worth it. Because today folks, my living room looks like this:

Last month, it looked like this:

You know, to be fair to my former living room, it wasn't all that bad. But now that it belongs in the past tense, I'm able to pin point what exactly bothered me. The lights did not match. The bookcases were too dark. Our furniture lacked personality. In fact, the entire room lacked personality. And most of all, the walls were just too dark. They were so dark that no matter what we did - changed the sofa, hung up bright paintings - did nothing to brighten the room.

One of our biggest mistakes back then was that we didn't check out how much sunlight the living room got. The dining area hardly got any sunlight at all during the day, and it was made worse by our choice of wall colour. We opted for earth tones then because we wanted to create a cosy feel. Dark and gloomy was what we got instead.

The thought of re-painting the walls constantly crossed our minds, yet it was the thing we procrastinated most about. Because seriously, who has the time (and patience) to clear out everything to make space for painters? Not to mention who is able to find temporary accomodation for a couple of days till the horrid smell of paint goes away? But when Dulux asked if they could paint my living room for me and said that I wouldn't have to clear anything because their painters would do everything, I was sold. And truly, they did everything. You can read about the process at Asian Parents here.

This is what our living room looked like during the painting. I cannot believe I once thought I would be able to re-paint the living room myself! Oh, naive you are indeed, Adora!

In five hours they were done and we were left with a gorgeous white wall (we chose white but there must have been over 50 shades of white to choose from! I remember when white was simply, just white!) and clean floors. Because they even swept up after the painting was done! Smell? So little that my kids were even around when the painters were putting on the final coat of paint.

It felt like I had a new house!

Blank walls! Oh, the possibilities! I stared at this wall uncomfortably for a week, wondering how best to dress it up

I moved stuff around, experimenting with new layouts and configurations, then suddenly, something in me just clicked - this was the PERFECT time for a complete room makeover! We'd just gotten our walls painted white in an attempt to brighten up our room, and most of our dark furniture started to hurt our eyes because the contrast was so extreme. Plus, there were things that we'd been intending to change for a while, and this was the best opportunity to do so. And this was the time I learnt that furniture is nothing without fittings.

We were mindful of our budget, yet there were things that really needed to go. Most of the stuff stayed, but we did make some purchases (after many hours of browsing and window shopping!). Out went our black bookcases, and in came two very tall, very wide, and very gorgeous ones in a light birch colour from IKEA. You probably recognise them; every other home in Singapore has them. They're the famous Billy bookcases, one of IKEA's best selling items.

Against our new white walls, they blended in beautifully. We considered white but there was the risk our living room would end up looking like an insane asylum so we opted for birch instead. And that armchair! It's a preloved vintage chair that I bought at - you will not believe it - $35! I am so in love with it. And I love Hock Siong, where I bought it - gosh, when I visited, it felt like I had stumbled upon the set of Mad Men!

We also repurposed the old homelearning bookcase into the family games unit to promote more family time. Already, we're enjoying sprawling on the living room floor with the games. And those orange boxes below? The kids' toys - one houses blocks, another is a home for train tracks, one's for dress up and the other holds random bits and pieces. Oh so neat! I love it! No more runaway toy boxes! This is an old Expedit bookcase (now known as Kallax) from IKEA, another preloved item, from my mum!

I had a bit of trouble adjusting to this particular wall - it's the area that gets the least sunlight, so while all the other walls looked white, this one showed a slight hint of purple. But nothing a picture frame can't fix!

I knew that one of the factors that contributed toward our house looking so disorganised (apart from the fact that we have two very small and messy kids) is that our wall art was all over the place. This time, I was determined to (attempt to) coordinate. The problem was our budget - it wasn't very big. So buying 'real art' was out of the question. Else I would have loved to get a lovely painting of our neighbourhood. Instead I got two big basic white frames (these ones) and made these babies for the dining area.

We're not really the kind of family who would put up random pictures of scenery or abstract art, and much as I love doing art and crafts with the kids, this was something that I did on my own one night. I love the bright burst of colour! So simple yet so striking. Oh, the joys of a white wall! One thing that our living room lacked too, was plants. I'm known to have brown (as opposed to green) fingers, and have always tried to steer clear of plants. But I'm loving how these two are breathing a fresh breath of life into our home. And yes, they are not being ill-treated.

I've long toyed with the idea of a huge picture or painting on this wall, but everything was either too expensive or impersonal. So I made these instead with 3 simple and easy-to-find things: Stretched canvas, cloth, and super glue. The vintage chair sparked a love for vintage in me, so the fabric was chosen to match the chair (Spotlight!). The completed pieces didn't cost much so if and when we tire of them, we can simply make new ones with new fabrics. My initial plan was to get one big stretched canvas frame but Spotlight was having a special promo on a pack of two smaller ones, so I was easily swayed. Here's my DIY post on how you can make your own stretched canvas one-of-a-kind piece.

Max and I are the sort who like moving furniture around occasionally, and ultimately the sofa might go back to be against that wall, so we made sure the fabric panels were measured to fit the sofa.

I love this area now but I'm thinking a coffee table (preferably a vintage one with those slim slanted legs) will pull everything together. But the rug! I never thought we were rug people but this one is simply gorgeous!

Cushions for the sofa! We have a white sofa from IKEA and it's got washable covers (how clever, right? Washable covers when you have young kids?), but it's also pretty badly stained with markers (thanks, Calla) and spills (thanks, everyone). Cushions not only help to mask some of these stains, but also make the room look more homey and cosy.

This pic shows the room without soft furnishing (cushions and rug). Compare it to the previous pic! Different eh?

Lighting. I mentioned that this room doesn't get a lot of light. Primarily because it's quite big. A good problem, I know. To save costs, we decided against putting downlights in a false ceiling when we moved in. But that also meant that we always had insufficient light at night. So we were very excited to change all the living room and dining room lights.

Out went our old entrance light which was a lovely deep red Vietnamese lamp that reminded us of our honeymoon (we honeymooned in Hanoi). The problem with it was that it was so dark that it didn't really to its job. Well, it was pretty, but also incredibly dark. So we opted for a paper lantern which really brightened things up (we chose this one from IKEA. There are many others at Daiso as well!). Our living room got a lovely red one which cast a wide distribution of light over our long dining table - in the past, only a portion of the dining table would be lit! The hardest light to choose was the one for the living room. This was the one that cost us many moments of debate at IKEA's lighting section. Finally, we got this one to match the armchair and I love love love how it fits in so beautifully. Max however, is a bit bothered by how it sways with the wind both from the window and the ceiling fan.

For additional light, this standing lamp is both a reading lamp and an uplifter - it gives us direct light for reading, and its uplifter is bright enough to light up the entire living room area, supporting the warm glow of the ceiling lamp. And the best part is? It was really affordable - yay!

So there you have it, our living room make over! I've mentioned before that I've yet to sit back on the sofa, breathe a sigh of contentment and say "Ahhhhh". Well my friends, now I can. Thank you, Dulux, for giving us this push. We all love our new living room. This is home, surely, where my senses tell me.

*****
Disclaimer: Actually, this isn't a sponsored post. The one that I wrote for Asian Parents was, but I wrote this as a part 2 of sorts, because I wanted to share about the other things we did to create this look and feel. Plus, all purchases were made on our own account, so.

Double disclaimer! : A few weeks after everything was bought, IKEA invited me to be part of their blogger programme, which included a sponsorship package. Just thought I would clear that up. And here's what I wrote for IKEA about our #1nightnolight challenge.

↧

Wet Market Tips from the New Age Auntie

February 5, 2015, 7:02 pm

≫ Next: The Family Room

≪ Previous: Home Sweet Home

The wet market is one of my most frequented places. There, I've said it.

There's something about shopping at the wet market that supermarkets cannot replicate. Yes, there's the convenience of late night (sometimes even 24-hour) shopping, but supermarkets just feel rather impersonal to me. I understand though that there are a variety of reasons why some prefer to stay away from the market, and most if these reasons are fear driven.

Prices at the wet markets are generally lower than what you get at the supermarkets. I'm told our wet market is one of the priciest, but still, in the big scheme of things, I still save by shopping there. Also, I think that the things are fresher at the wet market.

Other reasons include:
1.Whatever I spend goes directly to the stallholders, and I can do my part to cut down on packaging wastage.

2. I'm able to get more personalised orders. Like I can ask for my pork to be grounded twice for example, or choose the particular piece of meat that I want minced. Or to have my fish fillets sliced thinly. My fishmonger tells me which fish is good for kids because there are lesser bones, and when I buy bones for soup, the pork uncle always asks if we intend to eat the meat off the bone too.

3. There are also perks like getting complimentary garnishing (I've never had to buy spring onions, red chillis or coriander). Shall I mention discounts? I shall. Many times, they're happy to round down prices when you buy a few more things. Some stall holders are also cool to babysit your previous purchases while you go shopping for additional items.

4. I don't have to feel pressured into buying a whole bag of something when most of it will end up getting binned. At the market, you can buy a couple of sticks of celery (as opposed to a whole pack), or half a butternut squash, or just 5 eggs (that come in homemade cardboard boxes, thank you very much!).

5. The more familiar ones are OK with me giving a verbal IOU if the nearby ATM is out of order.

We are very blessed to have a good wet market nearby, and I go there very often. Over the years, I've picked up a tip of two, and hope that through them, more people will feel less intimidated about shopping at the wet markets.

1. Don't be afraid to ask

Don't know the names of vegetables? I totally understand. At the supermarket, everything is labelled, making it easy to identify the vegetables you need. At the wet market, everything green and leafy to me was a blur. In the beginning, I'd grab the first green leafy thing and head off to pay, afraid to hold up the queue. I still don't know half the vegetables but for the other half? I asked.

I asked just about anyone - stall holders and fellow shoppers alike. If you're looking to cook a particular vegetable, ask the stall holder if he has it. It would be helpful if you had the name in Chinese or dialect, but if not, a lot of them now speak English. If you really need that particular item but can't explain it, show a picture on your phone. I'm serious.

If something catches your fancy but you're not sure how to cook it, again, ask. Now I have no qualms asking the people next to me, "Oh, how do you intend to cook that?". Mostly, they're happy to share. And mostly, the answer is "with a bit of oil and garlic".

Don't know what meat to buy for chops? Ask. Want to know if your meat can be minced twice? Ask. Don't know if a fish should be steamed, fried, baked or grilled? Ask. Need your fish to be gutted and descaled? Yes it can be done. For free. Just ask.

And don't forget your manners, and to smile.

2. Make a list
It's easy to get lost at the market, particularly if it's one you're unfamiliar with. By having a list, you'll be able to look for the sections that you want and help keep to your budget. Because remember, they don't take NETS or credit cards (though if you're more familiar with them, you could probably ask to pay them at your next visit)

This also allows you to plan your route. I like doing meats first, then fish, then fruit and vegetables. I carry a grocery bag to a) cut down on plastic bags and 2) it's easier for me to carry one bag on my shoulder than 5 in my hand. So my meats go at the bottom, then fish on top. The vegetables come in a big bag that I hand carry.

My reason for going this? Firstly, I prefer stacking fish on top of meat than vice versa. Because fish is more delicate and um, expensive. And I end off with fruit and veg because that can all get quite heavy to lug around. Secondly, would you prefer having money handled by the fishmonger or the vegetable seller in your purse? Noting that the latter's hands are usually dry as opposed to the former's.

3. Go at the right time
I know it's a challenging thing to do for working folks, but if it's going to be your first trip to the wet market, I recommend you make it less intimidating by going at a less crowded time, yes, like weekdays. I've gone as early as 6am (thank you, insominia) and as late as 12 noon. My favourite time is probably about 8am when the hardcore shoppers have done their shopping, and the market is less crowded, making shopping more pleasant.

Markets are generally closed on Mondays. Because abbatoirs are closed on Sundays (therefore there's no meat to sell on Mondays). If you're lucky, you'll find a few fruit or vegetable stalls, or the dried goods stall open but generally, it's quite on Mondays. Most markets open from 6am to about 12 noon with many stalls packing up by 11.30.

4. Put your queuing mentality aside
I'm not saying shove your way around. There's still an unspoken rule about first come, first served (and please be gracious about it too), but don't expect to queue up in a straight line. Make eye contact and speak up to get stall holders' attention (a simple "Excuse me!" or "老板/老板娘!" or because it's Singapore, "Hello!" will suffice). Because if you wait till you're noticed, my friend, you're going to wait for a long time.

5. Wear footwear that you don't mind getting dirtied
Is the wet market floor the cleanest? Nope. So leave your Jimmy Choos at home and go in whatever you don't mind getting dirtied or can easily be washed. Until you're a pro, you might even want to opt against flip flops because the floor can get reeeeally slippery.

I hope this has helped somewhat. If you've got any specific questions, feel free to leave them in comments, and I'll be happy to help! Because I'm proud to be a New Age Auntie! :) Happy weekend, folks.

↧

The Family Room

February 22, 2015, 7:51 am

≫ Next: Hey, Four Eyes!

≪ Previous: Wet Market Tips from the New Age Auntie

We laugh spontaneously
We disagree frequently
We love unconditionally
We argue sporadically
We hug fiercely
We fight occasionally
We yell regularly
We live messily

We are not perfect, but we are a family, and this is where we live.

******

This is the room we term as "The Family Room".

It's where everybody gathers at. Where there's a spot for everyone. Where there are things to entertain everyone. Where everyone can sit and relax, or stretch out horizontally for a nap. Where everyone can engage in quiet time or a noisy activity.

This is where we eat, talk, play, read, fight, watch TV, fold clothes, work, build, destroy, laugh, scream, jump, run, cry, throw tantrums, sulk. In no particular order.

This is where we can be noisy. This is where we can be quiet. This is where conversations flow. This is where we sit in silence. This is where we are comfortable alone. This is where we enjoy each other's company.

This is where we have our own space. This is where we fight for space. This is where we whisper "I love you". This is where we scream "She started it!". This is where we talk about our history. This is where our memories are created.

This is where we are a family. This is where we invite others into our lives. This is where we live. This is where we love.

We've been through many round of changes but I think we've finally got it. And judging by the amount of time everyone's spending in this room, I'd say we all love it. Thank you, IKEA for making our bright and happy family room a reality. We love it.

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by IKEA, where there's something for everyone and every budget. Also where you'll learn more about your spouse, get lost a little, work some muscles and grimace at the taxi queue.

↧

Hey, Four Eyes!

February 26, 2015, 8:00 am

≫ Next: How to Survive a Walk-Up Apartment with Kids

≪ Previous: The Family Room

To someone with myopia, the world can be a very blurred place. Those of you with perfect eyesight, you probably have been told but I'll say it anyway: You are very very lucky. Oh to be able to get up in the middle of the night without fumbling for spectacles!

********

Here's a brief backgrounder about my hate-hate relationship with spectacles:

- I was first told I needed glasses when I was 10 years old. I jumped with joy. My mother shed a few tears.

- I was introduced to contact lenses at age 16 and have been dependant on them since.

- Wearing glasses out of the house gives me headaches. Followed by neckaches and shoulder aches. Sometimes they are so bad that I feel like throwing up.

********

Some people consider glasses an accessory, like earrings or necklaces. Not me. Glasses, to me, are a hindrance. Some people look cool with glasses. Not me. I simply look nerdy. And not in a cool way either. So it was contact lenses for me all day, even at home. Simply because my glasses were so physically uncomfortable and I felt so conscious with them on.

Each time I had to get a new pair of glasses, I had my eyes checked. Each time the opticians couldn't explain why I experienced all the aches, and hurried me through the eye examination so that they could serve the next customer. I disliked each visit immensely.

KJ Optometrists were very kind to offer me an eye examination, and further, a complimentary pair of glasses so I thought why not. Chances were, I'd leave with yet another pair of glasses that would cause me grief.

My relief from grief came in the form of Ms Li Leng, a Senior Optometrist from KJ Optometrists. Opticians, optometrists - is it a po-tay-to/po-tah-to thing? Same same but different? Well, yes and no.

Opticians can also conduct visual tests, the difference is that they interpret prescriptions that are prescribed by optometrists, and prepare suitable optical solutions according to those prescriptions. An optometrist is able to prescribe the suitable optical solution for specific optical problems, as well as diagnose any eye diseases and optical problems. There may be many optical shops in Singapore, but few have optometrists on hand. KJ Optometrists has 7 optometrists in their pool, who are also trained in treating young children. Good to know.

So this lady. She spent a good hour with me, giving me possibly the most comprehensive eye check up ever. She took the time to understand my history (but only eye related so don't worry, you won't have to tell her which school you attended, if you were a bad student, or which teacher you had a crush on), and patiently explained the possibilities for my problem.

On top of the usual "Can you read this off the chart?" and "Stare at the windmill" tests, I also had one really special one done - I had a picture of my eyeballs taken. See this pic below? Yup, those balls of light belong to me. I wish I could explain more to you other than to tell you that my eyes look healthy with good veins in them and all, but there was a lot of info to take in, plus I was still recovering from shock. Oh yes, the shock.

You see, my eyesight has been stable for a good 2 decades or so. I had no reason to doubt it because every optician (not optometrist. I almost guarantee that you will not forget the word from now) I saw did the regular tests and told me the same thing, that optical prescription (or 'degree' or 'lens power' in layman speak) was stable and all I needed was a new pair of glasses.

So when Li Leng told me, after all the stringent tests, that she was fitting me for a pair of glasses with a power of about 100 degrees weaker than what I've been wearing for 20 years, I was stunned. Turns out, in all these years, I had been wearing glasses fitted with an optical prescription that was too strong for me. How? I'm not quite sure.

What did she do that was different? The biggest difference was that she gave me (and my eyes) lots of opportunity to rest. I don't know about you but I get nervous before tests. Spelling tests, comprehension tests, pregnancy tests. You know. So I'm nervous before eye tests as well. Surely I can't be the only one who feels slightly embarrassed for not being able to read off the eye charts? Or feel nervous about "Oh dear, what if my power increases".

So she allowed me time to rest. Plus she was patient and explained everything to me. Like how she reassured me by saying that she was going to start off the eye exam with a very low power, one that would at first make everything very blurred, and this was to ensure she could get an accurate reading of my eyes. Her reassurance and confidence encouraged me to relax, and by relaxing, I was able to go through the tests without feeling hurried or stressed.

She also asked me to read off a printed document, and to hold it at a comfortable reading distance, and adjusted my optical prescription accordingly. In all my years of check ups with so many optical outlets, I had never done that. But then again, it seems like such a natural thing to do, isn't it?

So after all the tests, I knew I was in good hands. But still, there was the problem of the frames. I have to repeat that I do not like wearing glasses. Mostly because I don't like the way I look in them. So if knowing the correct degree meant that I would start buying the correct contact lenses, and I would have to walk out of the shop without finding a pair of frames that suited me, I could live with that. But hey hey would you look at that, I did manage to find a pair that fitted me, and would you believe it? I actually love my new glasses!

After I collected my new spectacles, I wore them straight out and? No headaches! And these days I am wearing my glasses out more and more. This is big, this is really big to me. Like life changingly big.

But wait, there's more. What of my contact lenses? Imagine how confused my eyes would be if I had different optical prescriptions for glasses and contact lenses. Li Leng offered to exchange my existing and unopened lenses, and after I tried my new ones on, she even did a check to see if they fitted me well (to determine if my lenses allowed a natural formation of tears, to keep my eyes moist). Apparently all practitioners are supposed to do that, but somehow, I'd never had that test done. So this sealed the deal for me. Professionalism for the win!

You know that I would only endorse what I truly believe in, and my friends, KJ Optometrists is like no other optical store I've ever visited. I am so grateful for Li Leng's professionalism and advice, and finally, for a pair of spectacles that I like and doesn't cause me grief. Thanks again, KJ Optometrists!

Specially for Gingerbreadmum readers!
Get 25% off all frames* when you quote GMUMROCKS at KJ Optometrists at Plaza Singapura from now till 31 March 2015.

*except for two brands - Tag Heuer and Oakley, which are price-controlled items

------

KJ Optometrists is located at 68 Orchard Road, Plaza Singapura #04-52 (new wing), Singapore 238839. Tel: 6333 0280. Opening hours: 11am to 9pm daily.

Disclaimer: I received complimentary eye checks and a swanky new pair of spectacles from KJ Optometrists. All opinions are my own and completely honest.

↧

How to Survive a Walk-Up Apartment with Kids

February 26, 2015, 6:39 pm

≫ Next: Name Recognition Activities

≪ Previous: Hey, Four Eyes!

When we bought our apartment as newlyweds, the fact that we had to climb four storeys daily never presented itself as a problem. Now, with two young children, I know the exact number of steps I climb everyday.

The good thing about living in a walk-up apartment is that it's excellent exercise for your calves and you can save a bundle on gym membership. The downside? Well, climbing stairs several times a day isn't quite on my list of "most fun things to do". Also, we sometimes have to pay extra for delivery services (like IKEA charges $10 for every additional flight of stairs).

But this is our 8th year of living here, today we've got 2 kids aged 2.5 and 6.5 respectively, and we're still standing, yeah yeah yeah. So I suppose this deserves a blog post of sorts. So here we go. How to survive a walk-up apartment with kids, by me.

1. Ditch the stroller

We had a lightweight combi but lightweight still meant weight. And bringing the stroller up and down those stairs while balancing a baby and at the same time gingerly trying to avoid knocking over our neighbours' plants was pretty challenging (here's our step by step guide on how to bring the stroller out, stairs, baby and all!).

I used the baby carrier (first the Baby Bjorn then the Ergo) a lot. For longer outings, I would put the baby in her carrier, and carry the stroller on my shoulder, walk down the stairs, open the stroller, put the baby in, leave the carrier in letter box, and head out, and repeat everything in reverse when we returned.

2. Make the kids climb
I know it sounds obvious but sometimes, kids being kids, don't see the obvious, and have a different perception of common sense. Having to carry/half drag them up 100 steps is not only virtually impossible, but also terribly frustrating. With the little one, I make it a game and challenge her to look out for markers along the way - numbers, certain plants - we practice counting the number of steps, we race. Sometimes we leave something on the steps near home when we head out for an outing, and I use that to entice the little one to climb back up ("Want to see if that brown leaf is still there?").

3. Make use of grocery delivery services
Our local NTUC supermarket offers two options: we can either shop online and opt for delivery, or make our purchases at the store, and get them delivered. There's a minimum spending required for that (and delivery is free), but it's easy to hit it if you have milk powder or diapers on your list. Which are heavy and bulky items anyway. Other items to include on your delivery list: the heavies like bags of rice or laundry detergent. Redmart allows you to do everything fully online and prices are reasonable too.

4. Have a reminder list at the door
What's worse than realising you've forgotten something when you're out of the house? Realising it when you are at the ground floor after having gone down all those stairs. Do you climb back up again (with the kids) or do you forego what you've forgotten? Either way, your outing's already started off on a bad note.

We scribble little notes and paste them on the back of our front door to remind ourselves of important things we need to bring before heading out. That said, there were still occasions where we've had to backtrack. Like when we forgot to bring our passports while heading out for a family holiday :)

When the kids started their school years respectively, I also had notes to remind myself what time they would return because they'd be dismissed at different timings on different days - after I found myself waiting at the bus pick up location at the wrong time on more than one occasion. Other things worth reminding: special items that the kids need for school, or if they have to wear anything special on particular days.

5. Let the kids be responsible for their own stuff
Now that they're older, the kids are in charge of their own things when we head out. They carry a little bag each - the small girl has her water bottle and a snack, and the big girl has her water bottle and whatever little trinklet she absolutely needs to carry. That way, I'm not stuck with each hand holding a kid, with bags slipping all over my arms as we descend those stairs!

There's not been any talk about any elevators sprouting up in our estate any time soon, and you know what? We've already gotten quite used to our stairs :) Happy climbing, everyone!

↧

Name Recognition Activities

March 1, 2015, 5:54 pm

≫ Next: Once a Cardboard Box, Not Always a Cardboard Box

≪ Previous: How to Survive a Walk-Up Apartment with Kids

Got a child starting school soon? It might be useful for her to be able to spell (or recite) her name, and recognise it in print. I sing my kids' names to the tune of B-I-N-G-O and that's helped; thankfully they both have 5-lettered names! Here are some activities we've done to help our 2.5 year old better recognise her name:

My kids love pancakes. It's a weekend tradition. They're easy to make, and even the little ones can help with the mixing. We like this recipe and have been using it for years (in the same link I also share on how I made shapes; you can also use the same method to create letters). You can also make smiley faces to accompany your name pancakes! I guarantee they will disappear faster than you can cook them.

Personalised t-shirts are great because they are fun and easy to make (even for kids). If you're not comfortable having your kids' names shown in public, you don't have to let them wear their personalised t-shirts out. It's still fun for them to wear it at home. Here's how we made ours. By the way, it's so durable! Calla's t-shirt is almost 2 years old and the paint hasn't faded at all!

We have so much washi tape, we don't know what to do with it. So I taped up Calla's name on white card paper, then taped the paper on to a tray with sides. You can use a box lid too if you like. Because of the next step. I let my 2.5 year old dip marbles into paint, then roll the marbles around. You can also let your little one do finger painting if you like, which mind ended up being anyway! When paint is still wet, remove washi tape to reveal name. Let dry.

We've had these snap cubes for the longest time but have had no idea what to do with them. My kids play at building tall buildings but that's pretty much it. If you don't have snap cubes, this works with Lego blocks as well.

Bringing activities outdoors is always fun. My kids love sand so learning activities with sand make so much sense. For this, I wrote my little one's name in sand using my feet (you can also use a spade if you like, but a stick/branch is likely to be too thin) because it sand is very dense and very dry. It's not quite visible when viewed from ground level so asked her to climb to a higher spot to look at it. Oh, her face when she saw her name - priceless!

There are more and more parks in Singapore which have playgrounds with sand (yay!) but our favourite is Tiong Bahru playground. If the beach is more convenient for you, you can write on a smaller scale on the more compact sand :)

What I would really like to do is to grow my kids' names in grass! That'd be so cool, wouldn't it! If you manage to do it, please let me know, won't you?

Like to find out what other activities we do? They're all compiled here, both activities we do at home, and places we like to visit as a family. Have a good week!

↧

Once a Cardboard Box, Not Always a Cardboard Box

March 8, 2015, 7:57 pm

≫ Next: Can Your Relationship Survive a Trip to IKEA?

≪ Previous: Name Recognition Activities

My friend and fellow blogger Summer from A Happy Mum runs something called a Creativity linky twice a month. It pushes me to stretch my creativity to make stuff for my kids, at least twice a month. So this month, because we had a cardboard box lying around, we made these. And did it take long? And a lot of effort? Nope. One Mama, one paintbrush, one sponge and one hour. That's it! And paint, of course.

The original box came from a new TV bench we bought last month. The box sat in our storeroom for a long time because I had no idea what to do with it. We made a cardboard home many years ago when we bought our washing machine, but the TV bench box was quite flat so I didn't think I could make a 'home' with it.

Then out of the blue I realised that it didn't need to be an entire house for the kids which allowed the kids to go in and out. So I ended up making just the front of the houses. Or to be precise, a shop and a house. Because the box came in two parts, and I have two kids. Which was great (that I had two things for the kids to play with, not that I had two kids. Well, also great that I have two kids) because they could both play at the same time, and it wasn't one playing and the other crying.

Those little flowers? They were a last minute add-on, and the 2.5 year old really loved making them. How easy are they! The 6.5 said "oh they're so simple, Mama" but that didn't stop her from making some as well to decorate her shop with.

We played at selling food, selling dolls, selling furniture. It's great money practice for older kids and fun counting practice for the little ones as well. But what's most important was that it was fun for them. Till the next creativity burst!

This post is part of A Happy Mum's Creativity 521 linky series. Hop over to her blog for more fun and creative ideas that she does often with and for her two gorgeous little girls!

↧

Can Your Relationship Survive a Trip to IKEA?

March 11, 2015, 9:48 am

≫ Next: What is Primary 1 Really Like for Kids?

≪ Previous: Once a Cardboard Box, Not Always a Cardboard Box

Next month, Le Husband and I will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. In the course of our life together, we sailed through some decisions (like how we bought our house the very day we saw it ) and we disagreed about many things.

The funny thing is that we seldom fight about the children. Or the parents. Or the house. Or money. Or jobs. Or friends. Over the course of 12 years we have lived together, I can narrow it down to the one thing that brings out the worst in us; I can even tell you where it always happens.

At a big blue and yellow box called IKEA.

Yup, the place that has contributed to furnishing countless homes around the world, including the very one we love, is the very place that has most seen us frustrated and angry. At each other. It's where we roll our eyes and click our tongues more than ever. At each other. Nowhere else on earth have we ever walked away from each other, apart from IKEA. There are a million and one things that could spark off a disagreement on any given shopping trip to IKEA.

The main problem is that there are just so many decisions to make at IKEA - meatballs or salmon? KLIPPAN or EKTORP? Delivery service or get a back ache? Flat trolley or yellow bag? Ketchup or mustard? BILLY or KALLAX?

Plus, someone is bound to get distracted. Not that you can blame them, we're talking 20,000 products after all.

Someone is bound to get lost. Presumably because of distractions. And by the way, "Where are you?" is probably the worst question to ask at IKEA. And the worst answer is "I'll come to you". Because by the time you actually find your way to your other half, he would have wandered off to another location. Again, not that he is to blame. See above.

If you've been dating someone for a while but aren't sure if he's the right one? Buy a piece of furniture and fix it up together. Relationship dynamics will come into play right away - You'll see how you both handle stress together, and how you react to each other in a stressful situation. What better way to shove a starry-eyed couple into a real-life situation than to give them the task of working together to assemble a complicated thing in a small space, in a short time? And if you survive this, please sign up for the next season of The Amazing Race.

The thing about fixing up furniture is that you've got to do it alone. Or you'll just end up being in each other's way. Because everyone has their own way or organising those thousands of screws and bolts and dowels, and a specific place to put their allen key. You've got to work together in a small space, yet give each other space. You've got to cooperate. You've got to have a system. And you won't have time on your side. Do you tear off all the packaging and stack it neatly somewhere? Or leave it to fly around in the wind? Do you read all the steps of the instructions first, or do you fix as you go?

Perhaps the best, yet at the same time worst, thing for us was that our lives together coincided with the beginning of my career at IKEA. And my job orientation included a product fix-up component. So I knew exactly what to do, yet couldn't command Le Husband to follow. Simply because of the whole "I man, make fire, hunt animal; you woman, cook animal, clean cave" thing. I blame the early cavemen. Not to say that I married one of those chauvinistic types. No, on the contrary, I married a rather open-minded "we are all equal" kind of dude. But, it was still early days, and I didn't want to crush his ego. Not that early anway.

I'm happy to update that after 12 years together and many pieces of furniture after, we still shop at IKEA. But now we know what works for us. One person politely proposes a product, the other one politely accepts. Any counter proposal is presented with carefully chosen words and laced with honeys and darlings. We know to take our time. And when we finally agree, we shake on it. The children play for an hour at Smaland while we zip in for a quick coffee and then to get the proposed - and only the proposed - product, then we zip out. There is no buffer for any distractions or detours. Then we bring said product home via cab, carry it up a zillion flight of stairs, where one of us will fix it up while the other engages in some other activity, only to return when said product is assembled and to praise partner with a high five and a "Good job!" compliment. It works. We're still married.

Why do we not simply pay someone to deliver it and fix it up for us? Because we're cheap. And that is one thing we both agree on. Which is probably why we're still married. To each other. Because if a marriage can survive IKEA, the marriage can survive anything.

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by IKEA. For real. Oh, it knows that it plays a crucial part in making or breaking marriages. It knows alright.

The other two posts I wrote in this partnership with IKEA can be found here and here .

↧

What is Primary 1 Really Like for Kids?

March 12, 2015, 6:00 pm

≫ Next: Learning from The Lees

≪ Previous: Can Your Relationship Survive a Trip to IKEA?

There are several wonderful posts on how you can prepare your child for Primary 1 - how to prepare her academically, teaching her to care for her belongings, showing her how to count her money and buy food.

Today's post however, is slightly different. I've asked 50 parents to share on their Primary 1 kids' real experiences in school. A timely post since these wonderful kids have all completed their first term of formal education, don't you think?

Recess
"After 10 weeks of school, I realised my son didn't know that a vending machine gives change." - Neresa

"Every day after school, I ask what he had at recess. Every day, his answer would be 'fish ball noodles'. Every single day. Today we are in week 9." - Marilyn.

"She said, 'I didn't know that the school canteen is so big! I can eat from a different stall each day!'" - Angeline.

"There's some lunchbox black market thing going on. And the one who brings the Oreos commands the highest bids!" - Susan.

"My daughter brings $1 to school daily. On the first week, I gave it to her all in 10-cent coins, thinking it would help her count better. Every day she would spent all her money on two pieces of sushi. I thought that was very expensive sushi, until last week when I gave her a $1 coin, and she started bringing home change. That's when I realised that she's been overpaid!" - Jiahui

"'I can buy chicken rice, or Ribena. But I cannot buy chicken rice, and Ribena. Because Mummy only gives me $1.50.'" - Celine.
"No matter what I pack in her lunchbox, no matter how much or little I pack, she never finishes her food!". - June.
"For the first 3 weeks I was the typical bento mum. Now I've given up preparing packed lunches. Because play is more important to him, and sleep is more important to me." - Heather.

"She came home one day and announced that she bought 20 fish balls at 10 cents each. I asked her why and she said 'Cos I had 2 dollars!'". - Cindy.

"'I have to be very careful when I bring my food to the table. If I drop the fish ball, I have to buy another one.'" - Mabel.

Bookshop
"Pei Pei has realised that the bookshop is a great place to visit during recess! In the past 10 weeks, she has bought 6 packets of colour paper, 1 correction tape and probably some other things I don't know of!" - Waiwai.

"Let's just say my daughter and the school bookshop owner have become quite close friends." - Grace.

"My 7-year old daughter is doing the exact same thing as me when I was 7. Pocket money is for bookshop expenditure and not for food." - Adeline.

"She didn't even know about the bookshop. Until one day I asked her to get an extra pair of school shorts. There has been no turning back." - Christine.

"6 packs of coloured paper! Will we ever get down to using 6 packs of coloured paper!" - Valerie.

"The school bookshop. It's a dangerous place." - Carrie.

Classmates
"At the end of the first day, my son ran up excitedly to me and said, 'Mummy, there are 2 other Kaydens in my class! The teacher has to call us by our full names!'" - Jasmine.

"At dinner we all share about our days. My Primary 1 girl's days are always the most interesting, filled with 'Today so-and-so farted in class and we all laughed' and 'So-and-so got scolded for losing her water bottle'." - Pei Ling.

"Belle tells me that C's father is a teacher too, that P has 2 brothers, and that M is so chatty in class that she always gets scolded. I am up to date with the class gossip." - Frances.

"Apparently they have to work together in groups and that doesn't always work out well!" - Melanie.

"'We have to stick with our buddies all the time. Like glue.'" - Colin.

Toilets
"Our son Mike goes to an all-boys school. On his very first day, he came back telling us that the toilets were 'really smelly.'" - Nicole.

"Apparently there's no toilet paper in the cubicles." - Sassy.

"'When our teacher tells us to all go to the toilet, it's very fun because we run there and laugh'". - Kai.

"'We have to go to the toilet two by two.'" - June.

Homework
"There was a really short honeymoon period and then it started. Homework, homework, homework! So much homework!" - Kelly.

"Her favourite lesson is PE. Because there's no homework involved!" - Alicia.

"He claims to like homework. We'll see how long that lasts! - Janice.

"I've decided to leave the class Wassap chat group. Because all the parents were stressing each other out about homework." - Mei.

"'I don't like homework. I just want to play.'" - Huiling.

Teachers
"Kayden finally realized why every student bows to a particular teacher after 4 weeks. He found out this teacher is actually his principal..." - Joycelyn.

"I asked what her form teacher was like. 'She doesn't say quiet or shhh. She just frowns a bit and says 'Girls...' and then we all keep quiet.' Sounds like magic to me." - Aileen.

"My twins both decided that their teachers were stricter than their parents after about week 4." - Jeremy.

"'I love my teacher,' she says. Which is a good thing, I suppose." - Evelyn.

"Josh kept getting scolded for talking too much before classes started. But he failed to mention that it was during 'silent reading' time." - May.

"Our daughter's teacher is really on-the-ball! She emails us once a week to keep us updated with the things the kids have been doing and need to do." - Adeline.

"Both her English and PE teachers are called Mr Tan; she finds that very amusing!'" - Angeline.

"'Mrs Lee is the Discipline Teacher. She is quite fierce but she can also smile." - Wei.

"'Miss Hamidah's shoes are noisy.'" - Jacklyn.

General

"After crying in the morning for a month, one day she suddenly stopped. Today however, she came home from school and told me "Mummy, I have bad news for you. I still don't like school'." - Catherine

"Two water bottles, one wallet, one shoe (yes, one) and countless pencils. That's our lost and not found count for now." - Josephine.

"She said, 'Father Barre's garden (within the school grounds) is magical! Every day I pick up a coin when I walk there!'" - Joanne.

"It's been ten weeks but he still doesn't know what time school starts. I suppose it's because we're the ones doing all the rushing in the morning on his behalf." - Michelle.

"Jake says he feels like a sheep because the students are always rounded up and 'herded' from one place to another throughout the day." - Kimmy.

"'I think I want to wear shorts under the pinafore. Because C (classmate) always like to lift my skirt." - Josephine.

"Shoes get washed on Friday, and turn black on Monday. I wonder if girls are like that too." - Maryann.

"When the school circular advised us to label everything, I thought they were overreacting. I was wrong." Hayley.

"'I'm the energy fairy of my class!'" - Crystal.

↧

Learning from The Lees

March 21, 2015, 8:07 pm

≫ Next: What Motherhood Means to Me

≪ Previous: What is Primary 1 Really Like for Kids?

We all know him from the things he's done for this country. But among all the things I've read about him, what's struck me the most was that he was, above all his work commitments, a family man and a loving husband. And the relationship they had was indeed a beautiful one.

This isn't a post about politics. Or my love for the country. It's about a man and a woman who had such great love for each other, and what we can learn from their 60-year marriage.

1. Always make time for your family, no matter how busy you are.

She went home for lunch every day just so she could spend time with the kids.

2. Always show love for your spouse

She laid out all his ties for him when they travelled together, and only went out of the hotel after she was sure he was alright. She remained in case he needed her for anything.

3. Always make time for your spouse

When she had a stroke, he continued his work as first Senior Minister then Minister Mentor, and worked his schedules around her so that he could spend time with her.

After she passed, he changed his spot at the dining table to face the wall, where he placed pictures of himself with his wife in their old age.

4. Be a dutiful spouse

After she had a stroke, the highlight of both their days was the time spent with her every night, reading and talking to her.

5. Keep your displays for affection only for your spouse

There's no need to show the world how much you love your spouse; what matters is that he/she knows.

6. Have mutual respect

It never bothered him that she was older than he was, or that she, in his own words, was smarter than he. He always consulted her on her opinion and she was the one who vetted his speeches and important documents.

7. Accepting advice

When she had her first stroke, he encouraged her to continue swimming. One day she said "It's a public holiday, can I take a rest?" He said "go for a swim, you'll feel better". She swam.

8. Always remember your spouse's needs

So that she could continue to swim in comfort, he had colourful wet suits made for her. So she could swim in any weather without fear of getting cold

For more personal and beautifully written accounts, here are consolidated posts written by their daughter Prof Lee. https://somethingaboutsingapore.wordpress.com/category/dr-lee-wei-ling/page/2/

↧